Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Short Order Lingo In A Fantasy Tavern

While rummaging through some old notes and ideas, I came across the following and thought it would make a fun post:

Example orders:

A frazzled serving wench calls to the grumpy ogre cook: “Dwarf on a hoard, hold the diamonds; two halflings on a dragon hunt; bag of gold, hold the snow; and elf tips in trouble!”

In minutes, the customer receives a loaded baked potato without salt, two fried eggs on toast, fried dumplings without powdered sugar, and a steaming mug of mint leaf tea.

Soon, she calls out again: “Bear in a cave; two halflings in armor and another in bed with rubies and an extra blanket!”

This customer receives a sausage patty with gravy, two boiled eggs, and an omelet with bacon and extra cheese.

  1. Halfling
    • … on a dragon hunt = (2) fried egg(s) on toast
    • … in armor = hard boiled egg
    • … in bed = cheese omelet
    • … armed and dangerous = scrambled eggs
    • Example: “Halfling in bed with rubies and emeralds!” = omelet with bacon and bell peppers
  2. Hold the snow / Double the snow = no powdered sugar / extra powdered sugar
  3. Bag of gold = golden batter dumplings, deep fried and crispy (think doughnut holes)
  4. Bear in a cave = sausage patty with gravy
  5. Elf tips = mint leaves (as a garnish or tea)
  6. Drown it and drag it = all sauces and all veggies
  7. Dwarf
    • … on a hoard = baked potato, fully loaded
    • … with rubies = baked potato with bacon pieces
    • … roll it in diamonds = baked potato, coated with butter and salt
    • … on a bad day = baked potato, plain
    • … from Nevermelt = raw potato
    • … with a red beard = sweet potato
    • … shave the beard = peeled potato
    • … and stomp it = mashed potatoes
Would you eat here? What other terms could be added to the tavern's glossary?

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